How Long Must I Wait?

There are so many days throughout the week that I can sense God's presence and Hope in my heart. Yet, there are those few days... those days that may as well be a week... that I find myself asking, 'how much longer must I wait for this pain in my heart to go away?'
I know that God has an amazing plan for my life...I know that God will take care of me through every obstacle that I face....but when will I get to the point where I can go outside, take a deep breath and smile?
I know that I must endure the consequences of my actions...I deserve every bit of all this...but a day like today I just want to throw up my hands and say, 'ENOUGH! I can't do this anymore...It hurts too bad.'
So I guess the meaning of writing this would be to say...that even though this is the hardest thing I have ever done...I will continue to put my hope in Him...I will continue to walk this path, because I know that it leads to somewhere so great that I cannot begin to understand....I also want to ask that if for some reason you come across this post and find it worthy enough to read ...pray....pray for protection and understanding, because both of those I so desperately need.