There are moments in our lives when we look back at what we have done...maybe from the night before or maybe months ago...and we ask our selves, 'What the crap was I thinking??!!' I am definitely having one of those moments.
I feel as though I am trying to live God's way ... but only half way...does that make sense?
I am more involved than I have been the past few months and I do my daily devotionals...but that cannot be all that I do. God asks so much more of me...and he deserves more. I have been given chance after chance to make things right and I continually let Him down...I know that in this life we will have hard times, and I know that I will have many more falls...hopefully my many more falls won't be so painful...but then again I guess that just depends on my decisions today...because our decisions that we make in the moment are the decisions that may change our entire life...In one split second we can alter our future...maybe it is for the best...or maybe not....regardless of what situation I find myself in I have to remind myself that God can make any bad decision or situation positive...He is SO great and SO amazing that no matter where we find ourselves... He can use it for His glory...and in that I find my peace so that I may move on and not dwell on my past falls, failures and hurts....but instead rejoice in all He has given me and all He has done....
You will help me, LORD God, and keep me from falling - Psalm 54:4
I have no strength left, God. Lift me up and give me new hope as I place my trust in you...Amen
My Journey
Here are the thoughts, fears and lessons that I am experiencing everyday... This is me being transparent to anyone and everyone... This is my journey... my stories...during a time of suffering...
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1 comment:
Dear Jenn,
It’s so nice to hear someone that has such a love for God, and yet be able to share their short comings. Believe me; I know where you are coming from. I like to think of finding your blog as a blessing. One of my short comings is that I have not been in a church for quite a while, and for good reason, at least to me. People who use that term, “Christians” think of short comings as being a bad Christian. They are judgmental and harsh. Church is supposed to be a place where you can find unconditional love and understanding. A place where people are there for you and not look at you as if you were a leper. Anyway, I found that in so many churches, which is why I don’t go. I also do not like to call myself a “Christian” because I don’t want to be in the same category with the people I just described. Lately, I haven’t been even a follower. I guess I am just bitter. I shouldn’t be mad at God because God didn’t make me this type of person. Deep down, I do love God. I just don’t care for these people who claim to represent Him.
I used to love having that fire in me, but now I feel like that fire is gone. It has been dowsed. Even the matches are too wet to even start a new one. Ha Ha. I don’t know. Sorry I am burdening you with all this, but I just felt that we were on the same wave length.
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